How Turning 30 Changed Me

My Blog, My Story

When I was a kid I used to daydream. Like a lot. I was that kid who would miss several paragraphs of what someone was saying because I was too busy living inside the fantasy world in my head. I had book bags full of notebooks with stories in them that I had dreamt up for no one to see.

In school, when we talked about careers the only logical career I could think of having was that of a writer. I lived and breathed everything Harry Potter, so naturally I wanted to be J.K Rowling. She was my all-time favorite author and the thought of making up stories for a living was everything to me.

Then I became a grown up. Who had to get a real job to pay real bills and live in the real world. At some point someone led me to think being a writer wasn’t a real career and that writers didn’t make any money. I needed money. So I worked my real world job. I continued journaling and wrote a short story or two every now and again.

Journaling has been such a reprieve for me through good times and bad. Legit, I have a full trunk of over 20 notebooks I’ve amassed throughout my entire life, since I was about 7.

When I put words to paper, I come alive somehow. In real life, I tend to be on the quiet side or at least people tell me I’m quiet which I can mostly agree with. I battle internally with social anxiety so to most people I appear shy or soft-spoken . Really I’m just caught up in my thoughts wondering if I’m going to say something that’ll make me appear strange. My anxiety translates into social media as well so I tend to avoid as much of it as I can.

So why am I starting a blog to reveal too much information about myself?

Well see, this whole 2020 year thing has done something strange to me. For starters I turned 30. Entering a new decade of my adulthood has made things awkward. I can feel my body getting older by the day (migraines and tendinitis are not fun).

Secondly, turning 30 has prompted me to enter into a series of new 30 day challenges each month (because I have a weird thing with numbers I had to make it mean something.). This month’s challenge just so happens to be my 30 day blog challenge!

But finally and most importantly, something deep inside me believes that this year, 2020, is my coming out year. Or should I say my “coming unraveled” year?

No More Hiding

As we all know, life is too short. I’ve been stuffing my dreams of being this amazing writer down the drain for too long. Hiding my words away in notebooks, shut up in a trunk to read at some later date. I always thought if I died, maybe someone would publish all my journals and I would be immortalized (hate to be morose).

But in truth, all we have is right now. Who knows what’s promised to us tomorrow?

I don’t want to hide my dreams away anymore. I don’t want to hide me away anymore.

Even if I’m only sharing myself with this little corner of the online universe. This will be the corner where dreams come true.